The Gift of Touch.

When I was 23 years old, I lost my best friend and partner in life.  He passed away at 27 years of age.  Life as I knew it, had crumbled and I was learning how to navigate a new way of living, without.  It was the summer before my last semester in college.  I had moved 3 times that summer.  Judged for what I did.  Judged for what I didn’t. With barely any money to even pay for flowers for his funeral, let alone for my bills during the shock of his death. It was a real humble pie serving, needless to say.

If I could crawl in a rock (as most days I wanted), it would help me stomach a little more each day (or, so I thought).  Of course, I held my breath and powered through, but let’s be honest, I could not have gotten through that valley (and dark knight of my soul) without the support of so many people.  

And although, it took me many years to adjust to a new way of living, something changed in me the day I got my first massage.  Receiving was a foreign concept to me (I was bred to be a doer and a giver), something Universe challenged me in that walk, humbly I have acclimated to the process (without much of a fight these days).  This particular gift was from one of my sisters, who gifted me the “gift of touch”... it reminded me, just as the day of his death: naked, vulnerable, impressionable, I was at the mercy of Universe.  Wherever I blew, I couldn’t change anything and yet could feel everything.  But that’s life, right? A lot of times, we forget we’re all coming from somewhere… and if hurt, then in auto-pilot “defense mode”, we guard up. For me, at that time in my life, I had no fight in me. It wasn’t that I gave up, I just realized, I need not swim against the crashing waves.

For once (many times over, now) I gave in. As the therapist began to apply creme on my back… The knots of judgement and anxiety began to slowly unravel in my belly and tears began to stream down.  At that time in my life, I did not have the words or knowledge of what that massage did for me, but all I knew is that it made life a little lighter for me.

—————————————————————————————————-

Present day Gao, would have taken the time to talk to Gao (then) about the importance of touch. How we don’t realize that we store emotions and memories in our bodies as unnecessarily files (because we may not have the capacity to process them at that moment). How touch and movement allows these hoarded files to move on and how they do not identify who we are becoming.

Emotional release (the outburst of tears or what I like to say “the exorcist moment of uncontrollable water works from the eyes”) is a natural response when we give the body permission to sit and listen (this does not mean that you will have emotional releases every session), but that it comes with the territory of coming to your body. There are recent studies on the phenomena of animals and PTSD, although nature has been used as a great observation and inspiration (since the beginning of time), one can see the process of fight or flight and how it takes a toll on the body (in this case an impala): shock, recollection and shaking off of trauma are essential in an animals instinct (just like morning stretching :) ). We humans forget, that waiting in traffic, meeting deadlines, striving for other’s approval and standards, keeping up with the Richardsons are a FEW examples of the stressors we put on ourselves, with no resources of shaking that shit off (literally, pardon my potty mouth) and we don’t realize the zombies we become to ourselves and others.

Yes, I know.. all from one massage. The gift of giving one the opportunity and permission to be in the body, is priceless and such a lifetime of work. Take it from me 10 years later (after my first paid massage) and yet, still getting to know this masterpiece (my body) creator has given me to steward.

When was it the last time you were touched… no expectations (not fulfilling someone else’s needs or maybe expecting something in return)??

Just a thought.

School of Hard Knocks.

“From the bitterness of disease man learns the sweetness of health” Catalan Proverb

Its amazing how much we can learn about ourselves through slowing down and observing the subtle sensations we feel (or don’t). To conceive this luxury of creating (intentional) time and space, it requires so much of our being to be present.

I’ve found through the school of hard knocks, that life has an unequivocal way of slowing you down, forcing you to take a vacation. Even, when they are at the most inconvenient times. Of course, it turns out to be exactly what you need, to re-calibrate your direction. Gifting you the opportunity to hone in and listen to your vibration, the momentum, your spirit, body, mind and where they all are co-existing as! Or in a non-metaphysical explanation: reaping what you sow (aka making your bed).

Slow down. That’s easy right?

But that’s the thing, my dear friend… so many of us are knee deep in the “must do’s”, “not enough hours in a day…. enough arms… legs…. carbon copies of yourself…” that we forget to pause and ask ourselves, “does this warrant me to take a breather?”. What is life telling you (or if you’re spiritual, Creator nudging you) to acknowledge? And are you doing something about it?

For me recently, its been the healing journey of my absent menstrual cycle. It inspired my trip back to Thailand in fall 2018, where I learned about womb lifting through massage, traditional Chinese medicine and nutritionally supporting my bodily functions, through foods. Finding a sustainable approach to encouraging my lady parts to do what she has always been naturally made to do!

I know, TMI (too much information), but seriously though… I’ve learned some pretty basic, yet phenomenal philosophies to addressing the body. For example, traditional Chinese medicine believe that menstrual cycles that do not sync will eventually lead to a built up stagnation within our cells. Causing the strained body, to become inflamed and even over taxed! What’s beautiful and yet ironic about this concept, is that the body does this as a coping mechanism on an energetic, cellular, muscular and even an emotional level; a sense of self preservation.

It’s taken me almost a year, to finally give in to what my lady parts have been trying to tell me what she needs… and now, opening doors to areas of my life I’ve put on hold (In regards to my femininity). As I start to realize, this is just the beginning.

So… Is there something your body is prompting you to hone in on!?

Are you in a place to acknowledge the nudge(s)?

I challenge you to slow down.

now, Listen.
———————————————————————————————————————-
In the meantime, the books and founders of thoughts that found me through this inspiration:
Baan Hom Samunphrai School, womblifting training Chiang Mai, Thailand
”Reflections of the moon on water” by Xiaolin Zhao CMD
”WomanCode” by Alisa Vitti
”A Thai herbal traditional recipes for health and harmony” by C. Pierce Salguero
Gyrotonics.
prenatal/postpartum Doula and baby massage CE

The Beginning.

Take this moment to listen to your breath. 
Follow the inhales.
And the exhales.
Take note of the length in each exchange.
----------------------------------------------------------------
To breathe is such an involuntary response that often we take for granted in our every day lives.  Let alone, that we have the ability to control the rate of our breath-work. Have you ever taken the time to observe your current breath-work?  Maybe when you were stuck in traffic, or just got into a confrontation, or about to go on stage to present something, joined a group of friends, walked into your work/home or any other daily event?  Did you noticed how your breathing pace shifted before, during and/or even after these events.
Practicing the subtle observation or your breathing is just the beginning into your journey of your body.

To Foam Roll or Not!?

One of my favorite gifts to give, is the gift of wellness.  Part of transitioning folks into having their own wellness plan, is introducing foam rolling into their lives.  Foam rollers usually run between $20-60 and can be found at a sport store or even a Target/Walmart.  As a good colleague once said, "foam rolling is a poor man's massage"!

Most clients, when recieving their first foam roller, usually look at these pieces of foam much like how my puppy, Luda, is looking at mine: 

It is important to take note that a tool used in its correct setting can make life easy, but it can also be used inappropriately and hinder your quality of life.

Youtube is a great resource of free information, reminders and you'll find that as you watch these short tutorial videos there are a few COMMON take aways:
*Try to avoid rolling the lower back, IF your lower back gives you an issue (not to be confused with, AVOID FOREVER).
*Breathe through each movement (meaning, if you find yourself straining AKA holding your breath... chances are, you're not getting the full benefits of the foam roller myofascial release)
*Which segues into, EASE into your stretches/release (you DON'T have to LITERALLY ROLL the entire foam roller session).
*If you don't or haven't foam rolled in your life, then the process with your pain receptors will be hypersensitive/PAINFUL at FIRST (this also indicates the adhesions/"knots" your muscles have built up through the years).
*The smoother the surface area of the foam roller, the less precise those little points can dig in!! If this is your first few go rounds, don't scare yourself away, by using the non-smooth foam roller as your first foam roller.  It'll still be painful, promise.
*Last, but MOST importantly give yourself permission to modify as you need to, bending your arms/legs, use blankets, pillows props to help you not put tension on your knees, elbows, neck ect.

Hope this was helpful!?  HAPPY FOAM ROLLING!

In the mean time, here are a few folks that I enjoy their insight about foam rolling tidbits: Athlean X, Global Cycling Network and Howcast

Hot or Cold Therapy?

A few things you want to consider before you reach for the ice pack or heating pad; heat has the ability to make our muscles respond in a relaxed state.  While heat causes temporary circulation to occur on contact (also known as a vasodilator), cold therapy reduces inflammation by constricting blood flow (also known as vasocontriction).  

Here is a great short read on do's and don'ts for HOT and COLD therapy.

Holy Temple.

Have you ever noticed that when a child falls, their first instinct is to hold/guard the injury?  Even when an adult is near by to assess the injury, the child will still hesitate before showing their injury.  Its a natural instinct we do for self preservation, to guard our bodies, thinking that we are protecting, but as we age, we begin a habit of disassociating the pain, by trying to not think of the pain our pain receptors are reminding us simultaneously and in result beginning to alienate our injured body from ourselves.  

Our bodies have the amazing capacity to heal on itself, but our mind can affect the natural progression of the repair mechanism.

Fast forward, the child, now adult, has had many falls, some breaks, a few car accidents; the trauma begins to build layers of injuries and compensation.  This isn't even to account for surgical procedures (wisdom teeth, c-sections, torn ACLs repairs, rotator cuff surgeries ect).  These injuries/trauma, depending on how much we rehabilitate them back to full or partial recovery (and you will know, if and when your body is back to full capacity) will almost inevitably effect future injuries due to compensation.

Here are some rhetorical questions about your last injury, when was the last time you rubbed or explored the range of motion of that injury?  Does it feel like it's counterpart?  Have you noticed that since the injury, has new pain referral manifested (typically on the the opposite side of the body)??

It is natural, that we all will have restriction and compensation throughout our bodies, but as we have learned to guard our bodies (the instinct, that our bodies are our holy temples and we want to preserve them).  We can also learn what our coping mechanisms are (in regards to how we harbor and guard our bodies), while figuring out avenues in allowing our bodies to thrive in environments to heal themselves and regain a better range of motion.  Just a thought!

Heredity.

Dear Pot, 
I know that you have breast cancer, anemia and hypertension in your family history.  Physiologically, you can take precautionary measures to lessen the risks that are more susceptible in your genetics... Cardio, eating better, avoiding bad habits, yada yada (you know the spill)..  But what if I approached my physical anatomical structure in the same way?

Structurally, I and most of my siblings have a minor twist in the spine (inevitably, causing me to favor one side of my body), one of my siblings was diagnosed with scoliosis at the age of 13...

Do what you must, but just remember it'll catch up with you at some point.  Hindering your quality of life.
--Kettle

In my line of work, I am always inspired by those who did not let what society has deemed hopeless, deformity, disease, different from the "norm" to stop them from being at their optimum best.  I have had the honor to work with folks who have over come their scoliosis and live with accountability.  I've walked along and worked with folks that were cast off as never being able to walk or dance and because of their relentless willpower walk and dance today!! 

What am I trying to say?  Meaning, we have the ability to understand/learn our weaknesses (may it be physically, mentally, physiologically, emotionally ect) and strengthen them.  What!? Right!?

Just a thought.

How much is too much?

Dear Pot,
If I really took the time to listen to my body... what is my body telling me it needs at that moment? Day? Week?  May it be emotional support, Z's, lethargic, achey, food intake, spiritual fuel and/or mental support/challenge...  --Kettle

I get the question, "how much body work should I get done"?  Take a moment to take inventory of what you do in your profession?  If you're sitting "X" amount of hours at a desk, typing "Y" amount of minutes at a time, while holding your phone on your shoulder "Z" amount of times in a day...  Did you get up at any point to stretch out the muscles you've been shortening by sitting down?  Did you know that you lengthen your back muscles sitting, while, simultaneously shortening your hip flexors and if it were a real stressful day (whether home/work life), I bet those shoulders are almost reaching the bottom lobes of your ears!?  Go ahead, give yourself permission to let those shoulders drop and while you're at it, bring them slightly back, so, you're not curling those shoulders forward.  What you do professionally, you also train your body to hold the body mechanics of your profession (eg. a secretary who holds the phone by their ear with their shoulder, shortening their dominant side of their traps as they start to bring their anterior deltoid forward, straining their latissimus dorsi and if they're huffing and puffing with agitation, you can bet their serratus anterior is contracted from not deeply breathing).

Again, what you do professionally, you train your body to hold that profession as well.  This doesn't necessarily mean you're creating balance between the muscles you use daily with the muscles you don't use as often or at all.  Think about it, you're sitting/standing here, as you're reading this blog... How long have you been in this position (literally)?

Here's the thing my friend, in all honesty... what you do to your body 20..30.. 50+hours a week, working/at home/physical lifestyle, how much work can I or any other therapist really "undo"?  

As a practitioner, I do 3-4 hours of yoga a week, walk at least 1-3 miles/day, do 2 hours of weight training a week.  For me, I feel that I need at least a 2 hours bodywork session, every other week(preferably every week, when I've trained a little harder).  This is not a luxury, it is a necessity to keep up with the toll put on my body.  Take into account, I am also working on other folks and their bodies through my week.  Filling my cup is essential!

What are you doing to fill your cup?