Out of Sight, Out of Mind

Good habits are hard to keep, especially if they are new to our routine. I am an avid believer that I have good intention to do a lot of things, but if I do not put reminders on my path, autopilot can sometimes take over (and it often does).

Anyone who walks into my home, will notice that I have my wellness basket of tools in my living room: foam rollers, yoga wheel, yoga blocks, resistance bands, kettlebells, therapy balls. On a good day, all therapy objects are placed neatly in the basket. Other days it looks like wellness movement threw up in my living room.

I keep these tools in sight, so that if I am watching TV with my loved ones (or by myself) I can also use this time to decompress from the muscles I used for that day or even week.

Choosing wholeness and implementing it in your life doesn’t have to be another task. It can be a part of what you already are doing.

The more you implement ways to integrate wellness in the life you already live, the easier it is to honor your version for showing up for yourself, each time. This helps with building trust and a line of communication with the body.

Try looking at your schedule this week and intentionally find ways to implement some healthy habits: Eg instead of meeting your friend at the coffee shop, take a walk with them instead, soak in the sun, singing loud in the shower, run your feet in the creek as you walk the pups, breathing exercises in traffic.

I find that writing down these ideas help.

How do you implement new habits?

What is my Intention?

As a practitioner, the art of touch and movement are tools I use to guide others back to their bodies. I do not consider myself a healer or someone that fixes those that come to receive from me. Through the years I have come to resonate with: facilitator and someone who hold’s space for others.

What does that even mean??

Your body is a smart machine. We take for granted all of the work and functions that take place, within ourselves. Even as you read this article, the heart beats, the eyes blink, the lungs have inflated and deflated. A lot of times, we train the body to cope, forcing it to work overtime with the lives we choose to live or confine ourselves within.

The work I do, simply gives you permission to come back to the basics: to feel, to bask, to learn and let go on a tangible level. And in this space, my hope is that you can show up, with no judgement, take inventory of where you are and get to know the vastness of what the body does (when you learn to get out of the way).

When was the last time you asked someone what their intention for ya’lls interaction?

What fills your cup?

The sensation that makes your soul radiate and full.

That brings you joy.

That you know, you were created for this:_______________

It brings you to life, lifts your spirit.

It can be something you do, feel, touch, experience, challenge, taste…

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To feel the creek water run between my toes
Touched clay, as I sculpted with my hands
Experienced a different way of living, like submerging myself underwater to see a different world
Tried something that challenged my fears, like holding a tarantulas (who am I kidding)
Indulged in a creamy gelato, as I savored the taste

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When was the last time you intentionally made marginal space to fill your cup? really giving yourself permission to be present to that moment and maybe more moments like that?

GIVER vs RECEIVER

Giving and Receiving is a beautiful gift we learn, as we do life with others. There is a balancing act to a healthy symbiotic exchange, within these actions. When we find the sweet spot, trust can be cultivated and empowerment begins to take root. Having this resource, allows one to learn how to give from an unconditional place and receive with no anxiety of strings attached.

A little gift for you and your loved one. Attached on the link, you will find helpful checkpoints on showing up as, a giver and receiver-in regards to healthy touch. It will challenge you to look at how you interact with others, how to check in and can be applicable in a personal or professional setting.

Enjoy my friend!

Let’s talk "touch".

If there’s one interesting fact folks learn to be ironic about me, its that I do not like to be touched.

How do I love what I do, then? Because I do.

Let me back track, where this rooted feeling comes from… as a matter of fact, my mother tells me the story til this day how as an infant I disliked being touched and especially with sticky hands! I was number 5 out of 6 in my family. I’d imagine my brother and sisters would want to hold me all the time, but I would get irritated at being poked, prodded and left sticky so I found my voice. As this picture shows: of course, I didn’t like to be told what to do either (not much has changed)… which is probably why I have this “eat shit and die look” I gave to my older brother(-also my first best friend) for not letting me go to the chickens—apparently my mother had told him that the chickens would attack me and my brother out of fear for my precious meat, tried to steer me away.

Fast forward to 2020, me at 34 years of age and I can speak candidly and OPENLY about the act of touch, as well as the responsibilities that come with the art.

As a practitioner in the art of touch and movement, I forget how important it is to remind others, the question: “am I (by “I”, it is implied “you” coming from a full cup”).  What can I say, touch can be such a touchy subject (pun intended) so let us start from the beginning.

When you think of touch, what reminds you of the non-verbal language of touch you were first introduced with?  For me (since I cannot speak for you), I grew up in an Hmong household where language and physical affection were not a common tool to show love.  What I lacked in physical and verbal reassurance, it made up with sibling companionship and hard work with comradery.

Massage was a tool used to convey concern and respect to your elders, which is where you can thank my dad for my freakishly strong thumbs. In Thailand and many other Asian countries I’ve travelel to (Laos, Cambodia, India, Nepal, China, Taiwan, Indonesia.. more to come), massages were a part of communal life. They were done on the streets, a break from gardening, after/before dinner in the middle of the living room/communal space, on sides of temples.

It wasn’t until the pivotal moments of grieving (of my partner and decline of my dad’s health), that discerning others actions had an impact on me (made me feel a certain way). I have learned that acts of service (like any other love language) from a human being can be used to manipulate others.

I often found this theme (as I’m sure you have, as well): there are many folks out there quick to lend a helping hand, because it’s easier to help/fix others than prioritizing self.

I’m in the business of staying in my lane, coming from a place of wholeness (intentional doing my work to keep my cup full) and teaching you to honor self in the process. As an integrative body maintenance therapist and breath coach, I hold the standard of “checking myself before I wreck myself” in the famous lyrics of Ice Cube.

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So, what does this have to do with touch? Sticky hands? Aside from straight up hygiene, touch is an act of service. Whether you are giving touch, receiving touch. There is a responsibility to give, as well as receive. I asked the question at the beginning, “are we coming from a full cup” because we don’t realize that when we do not have our basic physiological needs met (in Maslows hierarchy).. the imbalance in one basic need, causes the human instinct to find ways to fulfill those needs in other aspects (even if it is unhealthy for us. eg-over indulging in food creating a codependent relationship of self soothing, sleep deprivation causing hasty decisions, lack of healthy touch-creating an incestual relationship/expectation—-this can be something as innocent as parents who need physical touch and justify them by snuggles with their kids-only, because they aren’t getting it from a partner).

In these next few entries, I will try and unpack my approach to touch and why I believe it is so important to be responsible with that act. You will find, that the responsibility runs parallel with other aspects of your life and it leaves one with the truest question: what is my intention?

Thanks for visiting. Speak to you soon!!

—g

The Gift of Touch.

When I was 23 years old, I lost my best friend and partner in life.  He passed away at 27 years of age.  Life as I knew it, had crumbled and I was learning how to navigate a new way of living, without.  It was the summer before my last semester in college.  I had moved 3 times that summer.  Judged for what I did.  Judged for what I didn’t. With barely any money to even pay for flowers for his funeral, let alone for my bills during the shock of his death. It was a real humble pie serving, needless to say.

If I could crawl in a rock (as most days I wanted), it would help me stomach a little more each day (or, so I thought).  Of course, I held my breath and powered through, but let’s be honest, I could not have gotten through that valley (and dark knight of my soul) without the support of so many people.  

And although, it took me many years to adjust to a new way of living, something changed in me the day I got my first massage.  Receiving was a foreign concept to me (I was bred to be a doer and a giver), something Universe challenged me in that walk, humbly I have acclimated to the process (without much of a fight these days).  This particular gift was from one of my sisters, who gifted me the “gift of touch”... it reminded me, just as the day of his death: naked, vulnerable, impressionable, I was at the mercy of Universe.  Wherever I blew, I couldn’t change anything and yet could feel everything.  But that’s life, right? A lot of times, we forget we’re all coming from somewhere… and if hurt, then in auto-pilot “defense mode”, we guard up. For me, at that time in my life, I had no fight in me. It wasn’t that I gave up, I just realized, I need not swim against the crashing waves.

For once (many times over, now) I gave in. As the therapist began to apply creme on my back… The knots of judgement and anxiety began to slowly unravel in my belly and tears began to stream down.  At that time in my life, I did not have the words or knowledge of what that massage did for me, but all I knew is that it made life a little lighter for me.

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Present day Gao, would have taken the time to talk to Gao (then) about the importance of touch. How we don’t realize that we store emotions and memories in our bodies as unnecessarily files (because we may not have the capacity to process them at that moment). How touch and movement allows these hoarded files to move on and how they do not identify who we are becoming.

Emotional release (the outburst of tears or what I like to say “the exorcist moment of uncontrollable water works from the eyes”) is a natural response when we give the body permission to sit and listen (this does not mean that you will have emotional releases every session), but that it comes with the territory of coming to your body. There are recent studies on the phenomena of animals and PTSD, although nature has been used as a great observation and inspiration (since the beginning of time), one can see the process of fight or flight and how it takes a toll on the body (in this case an impala): shock, recollection and shaking off of trauma are essential in an animals instinct (just like morning stretching :) ). We humans forget, that waiting in traffic, meeting deadlines, striving for other’s approval and standards, keeping up with the Richardsons are a FEW examples of the stressors we put on ourselves, with no resources of shaking that shit off (literally, pardon my potty mouth) and we don’t realize the zombies we become to ourselves and others.

Yes, I know.. all from one massage. The gift of giving one the opportunity and permission to be in the body, is priceless and such a lifetime of work. Take it from me 10 years later (after my first paid massage) and yet, still getting to know this masterpiece (my body) creator has given me to steward.

When was it the last time you were touched… no expectations (not fulfilling someone else’s needs or maybe expecting something in return)??

Just a thought.

School of Hard Knocks.

“From the bitterness of disease man learns the sweetness of health” Catalan Proverb

Its amazing how much we can learn about ourselves through slowing down and observing the subtle sensations we feel (or don’t). To conceive this luxury of creating (intentional) time and space, it requires so much of our being to be present.

I’ve found through the school of hard knocks, that life has an unequivocal way of slowing you down, forcing you to take a vacation. Even, when they are at the most inconvenient times. Of course, it turns out to be exactly what you need, to re-calibrate your direction. Gifting you the opportunity to hone in and listen to your vibration, the momentum, your spirit, body, mind and where they all are co-existing as! Or in a non-metaphysical explanation: reaping what you sow (aka making your bed).

Slow down. That’s easy right?

But that’s the thing, my dear friend… so many of us are knee deep in the “must do’s”, “not enough hours in a day…. enough arms… legs…. carbon copies of yourself…” that we forget to pause and ask ourselves, “does this warrant me to take a breather?”. What is life telling you (or if you’re spiritual, Creator nudging you) to acknowledge? And are you doing something about it?

For me recently, its been the healing journey of my absent menstrual cycle. It inspired my trip back to Thailand in fall 2018, where I learned about womb lifting through massage, traditional Chinese medicine and nutritionally supporting my bodily functions, through foods. Finding a sustainable approach to encouraging my lady parts to do what she has always been naturally made to do!

I know, TMI (too much information), but seriously though… I’ve learned some pretty basic, yet phenomenal philosophies to addressing the body. For example, traditional Chinese medicine believe that menstrual cycles that do not sync will eventually lead to a built up stagnation within our cells. Causing the strained body, to become inflamed and even over taxed! What’s beautiful and yet ironic about this concept, is that the body does this as a coping mechanism on an energetic, cellular, muscular and even an emotional level; a sense of self preservation.

It’s taken me almost a year, to finally give in to what my lady parts have been trying to tell me what she needs… and now, opening doors to areas of my life I’ve put on hold (In regards to my femininity). As I start to realize, this is just the beginning.

So… Is there something your body is prompting you to hone in on!?

Are you in a place to acknowledge the nudge(s)?

I challenge you to slow down.

now, Listen.
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In the meantime, the books and founders of thoughts that found me through this inspiration:
Baan Hom Samunphrai School, womblifting training Chiang Mai, Thailand
”Reflections of the moon on water” by Xiaolin Zhao CMD
”WomanCode” by Alisa Vitti
”A Thai herbal traditional recipes for health and harmony” by C. Pierce Salguero
Gyrotonics.
prenatal/postpartum Doula and baby massage CE

The Beginning.

Take this moment to listen to your breath. 
Follow the inhales.
And the exhales.
Take note of the length in each exchange.
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To breathe is such an involuntary response that often we take for granted in our every day lives.  Let alone, that we have the ability to control the rate of our breath-work. Have you ever taken the time to observe your current breath-work?  Maybe when you were stuck in traffic, or just got into a confrontation, or about to go on stage to present something, joined a group of friends, walked into your work/home or any other daily event?  Did you noticed how your breathing pace shifted before, during and/or even after these events.
Practicing the subtle observation or your breathing is just the beginning into your journey of your body.